I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I supernannyed him into submission
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
