smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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