So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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