why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
