Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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