Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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