well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
