Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
