were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You left your phone here
Wait...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
