slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
