I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
