Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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