I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
