Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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