That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
