i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Pappa wants mamma naked
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
