Whats the glycemic index on semen?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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