i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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