Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
