and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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