i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
