Your tits are I can't wait for
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
