Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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