this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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