dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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