Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
