Walk of Shame. In a state park.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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