I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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