apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
