Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
