STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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