On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
