I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
