Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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