Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
