Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
