Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize