If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
