How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
