How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
