you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
