I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
