it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
