yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
