I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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