it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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