Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
