he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
