That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What drink are we having for lunch?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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