I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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