just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
