i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize