Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
