She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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