3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
