The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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