Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
