..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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