I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
